That creepy guy at Wal*Mart

There is a creepy guy at Wal*Mart. He takes a different shape with each visit, sometimes he takes the shape of a woman, sometimes he changes shapes within one trip. Most would argue that this is not one man, but several different characters: I know better. It is not possible that Wal*Mart would be the ONLY store to attract so many creepy characters. No, it must be only one shape-shifting man.

Today the man took the shape of a Northern Wisconsin man with a Texan accent. He wore a thick, blue plaid winter coat. In his arms he carried two DVDs freshly snatched off the $4 rack. He met Jeremy and me at a kiosk filled with poorly crafted candles. Jeremy and I were enjoying the foul smells coming from each candle. The "birthday cake" candle was almost as bad as the "mixed berry". Creepy Guy joined in, stating that some of them are quite pleasing. Jeremy and I gently disagreed. This must have posed as a challenge to Creepy Guy because he then spent the rest of our time at the kiosk handing me candles to smell. At first, I accepted the candles and made small talk about each one. Eventually, I started wondering where he was finding all these different scents. Our time at the Kiosk ended when I shot Jeremy a glance that said, "You are not protecting me. Do your job." Jeremy and I started walking away when Creepy Guy offered another candle to me at which Jeremy remarked, "Well, we'll see you around."

Sad thing is, I know we WILL see Creepy Guy around. At Wal*Mart, Creepy Guy is unavoidable. If you don't find Creepy Guy at Wal*Mart, it is likely that Creepy Guy took the shape of you.